I don’t understand.

Why do I get so angry nowadays?

It only requires a tiny bit to just trigger.
I know also that whenever I got angry, people around me also will get it from me.
Patience one will tolerate with me. Those who can’t stand it will just give me a reason to blow.

It’s not like I get angry unreasonably.not all the time.

I need a chill pill.

Know or not?

I have this thing that has been bugging me for a few days.
It is obvious not a problem but I just don’t seem to be comfortable with this whole situation.

The situation is, there are some people just don’t mean what they want to say.
But just because they think it has to be this way, hence they say good things that they don’t mean to do.
They probably have zero intention of it but when others question their words, it is as if people force them to do good things.

I question just because I would want to know that do they really mean it? I would be happy if these words they said to others (to persuade in exchange of something) are true. I mean, at least you mean to do it la. Not just mean because you have to so you don’t look inconsiderate at that time (in short, to keep the humiliation, awkwardness and negative image FAR FAR AWAY)

I have time where I can’t offer what I said but I would make it up to it the next time.Actually I made it up. But I also have friends like Kah Heng who don’t want anything from people like me. So what I can offer in return are my punches, slaps and pinches.

I told Jordhatt about the situation that I totally disagree. I said how can someone offer something that she doesn’t think that people would take?  The response and answer I got back was pure disappointment. I am expecting the same words and reasonable offer; not some offer that as if you did not said and I forced you to. The worse part is the calculation. I lost my words for that moment. really.

Jordhatt sorta calmed me down saying maybe they don’t see it like that and all tht. I argued back with “but at least must tahu buat ma?and not like I really really want that thing. I was just putting sincerity on test.”

and I feel like a fool now.

Minus all that of yourself.

I know willingness doesn’t come in form of force and I shan’t do that.
Put aside my selfishness; I get “whatever comes tomorrow, I will accept”
Take away expectations; I will be in the same place and think.
Think that how I will make it better?
I keep the selfishness to myself.
I guess there is nothing to start of with.

It could be that I am so full of myself.
I never think of anything else, could be.
Could be that I just want to do it.
Or maybe I just thought that is my form of happiness.

No, I am not pathetic. I know I am not la…

Happy things!

I am happy because we spent hours sitting and laughed at very mean things. grrr… and those were funny eventhough it’s a lil evil.sigh, why la?
It’s been quite some time since we all hang out, or more like I hang out with you people!


It says a lot, right? but minus, one(US),two (syd in melb now),three(melb),four (melb),five (hols in melb), six (went internship) and seven came back from London.

Nowadays, make yumcha session also easy ady. nonit chain message. just forward to like…5 people.

Since Shwe Ying made all of us proud, I will dedicate this paragraph to her..whole post too expensive d the media value. She, Lim Shwe Ying the siput babi of the goblokness have created the second biggest event of the year in the whole Malaysia (cos first is my event for NCSM.haha!). I remember how nervous and tension she was. She was like…not enough people go la the event, then politics came in la, and then yada yada yada yada May rock yadayada…summore scare of rally. See, nothing happened but good things wat. I AM DAMN PROUD OF YOU THAT I MIGHT WEAR THAT SANDWICH BOARD I SUGGESTED IN OUR CONVO IN SPORE.hahahaha.might only la.

I am going to Singapore on Thursday. Damn happy. whee! holidays here i come! vacation be very afraid of me.

On another very unrelated but I think damn cute and funny cos my sotong is damn cute.hahahaha.


Mickey at work! with an ant, what;s the dog’s names? and some puppies.


The content of the pencil box. wow! typical secondary school stuffs wei! Admit it all of you did that!


Double storey summore.damn cool right?hahahaha.

Not gonna reveal whose pencil case it is la…you guess la. First to guess get this pencil case as a prize!

Okay la, enough of happy things. Goodnight!

Asking…

Have you ever get the feeling of “i don’t know what you’re up to but I think I know”? I don’t get the it that often but yeah, once in a while, when people or person (depending on who) start texting, calling or messaging me asking me about myself and what am I up to and all.

Then he/she would like ask more questions and dig, dig and dig. Also, not really a close friend. It’s more like a question friend. and I am the answer friend.  You don’t really want to answer and would like to ignore, and you suck at ignoring sometimes. The best thing is he/she is getting those answers purely for himself/herself.

Asking questions to make his/her way easier in getting the same thing that you’ve done or completed is just unacceptable. I worked my way to it too, eventhough it’s not that hard to open my mouth to ask, at least I am straight forward and the person I get my answer from is not heading the same way as me.

I don’t feel that I am disliking this him/her. I really don’t hate him/her in fact. I find it annoying that people ask questions to that make you feel bad about yourself. You know that you’re not that bad.

So you responded back to them, and upcoming one is “and then?”

I mean c’mon. It’s really annoying. You know you cannot be rude because he/she is just asking you questions but it’s a pure torture. It is like asking you when you’re 35 “when are you getting yourself a husband?” or ” when are you going to diet?”

Why not just kill me?

It’s just that I know you can get those answer by googling the internet. Or maybe I have nice people around me telling me without me asking. haha!

On the other very unrelated note, I came back today using the same route and I reached the row I stay and then I see a huge white tent. A wedding. I drove a quite big round to get to my house which is like 5 houses away. The tent was there like 3 days ago; blocking roads and slowing traffic especially during after school hours.

So I came back, saw cars parked around and then people at the dinner. There is a car parked ourside my house. So annoying how can you simply parked in front of people’s house. Nevermind, not only my house; others as well. At about 10pm, they started to have microphones, making announcement and all. Then, they started karaoke. My sister came down and told me ” they are just doing rehearsal.”

It’s really annoying la.

I have no problem at all if you’re having a birthday party. A wedding in a housing area? Our houses are only double storey. The people who attend a birthday party are ONLY your friends; unlike wedding that invites your, your future husband, mother, father, future in-laws, brothers, sisters’ FRIENDS and neighbors. Do the multiply and plus.

Rehearsal has so many cars parked outside. Imagine tomorrow.
So they were having a rehearsal just now, singing as if Siti Nurhaliza is preparing her concert in London. The most annoying thing in the world. The clock showed 1230am and they are still singing. Hello! 11pm is already late ok. So inconsiderate. You think everyone who stays in this area are youths is it? We all party till morning. I think someone must’ve complained la. and now they stopped singing.

I know I am just being difficult here but there are some things that I just cannot stand.

Robin…

Not hood.

The past few mornings, like really early morning at about 4am, Robin is always out.
Robin is always hungry at that time.
Sometimes, he will go for small meals, eats slowly, and then another small meals.
Other time, he eats big, like huge portion. maybe a quarter of his size.

I am always online or watchin videos when he is out to cure his hunger.
I look at him and then get back to what I do best; looking at the screen thinking what to do next.

Today I feel like blogging about Robin, perhaps he is Robert’s cousin. Robert is Mrs. Lee’s (my add math & mod math tuition teacher) lizard. He is always seen during my cousin sister’s years. They gave it a name; Robert. Robert was always out; like Robin but he is not as hungry as Robin.

Yes, Robert and Robin are not only cousins but they are dua cicak.

The dogs near my house started barking really really loud. as if there are thieves. Perhaps there are but I dare not put my head out and take a look. I am afraid that these thieves will hunt and kill me. Aih, such mindset contributed by TVB dramas.

Okay la, goodnight.

Speaking of…


(taken from Jaawsh’s blog , his achievement in Radish Chocolate!)

Jaawsh,
where his friends (Kah Heng & Jordhatt) said bloggers are losers.

Welcome to the Losers’ world, Jaawsh!
But in my heart,  he is a true joker.

He drives the most powerful car in the whole Malaysia (that includes Sabah & Sarawak) which beats Denise’s bf’s car.
He is the King of games.let it be dota or some gay games, you name it,he plays it.
He dances like a swam. beautifully with its wing. Have you ever watch a swan shakes its booty?
Well, watch Josh dances.

His all time gay partner? Don’t worry, it’s not Jordhatt.
It’s the infamousanotherbootyshaker, Tan Kah Heng.
Nevermind that they are in love. It’s okay wan..
People these day don’t patronize.

And I seriously dunno how to add pictures in wordpress. WordPress changed the settings and all. hehehe..

Btw, May rocks!

 

 

What would I do?

I was thinking of this before I go to bed yesterday.

If money was everything, what would I do?
I would buy myself space.literally.I am too much for this world.

Would I speak for myself?
To a few friends that listen.

I am very very lucky considering I have friends who not only I can hang out with but they know why I am this way not the other and yet I have their support.
They are the best cheerleader team in the world. A few of you.

There are two friends who said would come. Only if one is still in Malaysia and another is here and wanted to buy a ticket just to see me walk up that stage and wave a bit and come down.At least God gives me good friends. very good friends.

My squid, he said he will be there with me. Of course he will and even if he does not need to be there, he would be there. Because it is me.

She said don’t speak to me if you don’t want to. I can’t speak to you. I can’t speak at a place there is no fairness. I am not even allowed to speak when I seek help. She said I was being proud. I am being no faith.

It’s the kind where first day of school in the standard 1 is always very important. This is even more important than that.

How nice if my friends?

Don’t be angry at me. Feelings taught me this.

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